///Ending Canada’s Gun Violence///
In Toronto there was a horrific act of gun violence this week: a mass-shooting. Two people are dead. More than twenty were injured, including an infant hit by a bullet.
The media response has been pathetic. It’s been a perfect example of Canada’s spineless discourse on gun crime and our society’s predisposition toward the protection of criminals and the punishment of their victims. The CBC treated the matter as a social problem (just as you’d expect any leftist Trudeautopian institution to do). Other media reacted with varying amounts of indignant, but equally impotent, rage.
Are there any solutions? We could do what Toronto Councillor Adam Vaughan suggested: waste billions more on social housing (even I should qualify for a subsidized apartment considering eternal Dear Leader Jack Layton did!) and put more Storm-trooper boots on the ground. Bravo, Adam. You’ve proposed a traditional Dipper dump of taxpayer dollars into an incinerator but also saved us time by jumping to the logical, inevitable conclusion of your socialist wet dream: fascism.
Let me pull a Rob Ford and suggest a real solution to gun crime, rather than a mediocre worst-of-all-worlds urban elite solution. That’s right, I’m going to build a subway through gun crime. My three-part solution will prove completely unacceptable to any politician because it would save massive amounts of money.
1. Legalize the open carry of guns for trained individuals. Trained, safety-conscious owners of legal guns are not criminals. As a group, I’d posit that they’re more law-abiding than the anti-freedom gun-prohibitionists. When society prohibits weapons it’s not stopping criminals from getting guns. If we Canadians had not given up our inalienable right to bear arms, perhaps Monday’s shooting wouldn’t have ended in such grotesque strategy. The truth is that mass murders have been averted many times by responsible gun owners. They don’t turn into mass murders, so you don’t hear about them. The countries and US locations with the strictest prohibitions against guns are where the worst mass killings occur. Oh, CBC News and Michael Moore didn’t tell you about that? Surely they don’t have an agenda. Only gun owners have agendas. And by the way, the article I just linked to was written before Norwegian Anders Breivik slaughtered nearly 70 innocent teenagers last summer. What a gun-free paradise! If guns are so dangerous, why don’t you hear about mass killings at gun conventions? Why do they happen, to such a horrific extent and disproportion, in schools (where guns are typically banned)? Canada’s baseless, reckless hatred for gun owners makes me sick because our collective ignorance kills people every day.
If Canada had an open-carry law, maybe that 14-year-old kid from Toronto would still be alive. Maybe a gang member or two would be dead. Fair trade.
2. Decriminalize drugs. Drugs are terrible for you. No matter how many pothead protesters get baked on Parliament Hill, they’re idiots. But the truth is that gangs exist largely as a result of prohibition – whether it’s prohibition of drugs, prostitution, gambling, etc. Read Freakonomics, people. Even better, just watch this video:
3. Bring back capital punishment for mass- and child-murderers. The moral majority of Canadians supports capital punishment. Our elitist, leftist media tells us that the desire for capital punishment is a barbaric instinct for vengeance that needs to be repressed. Only then can we flourish into a utopian, peaceful country like Norway. It’s sickening. Neither Paul Bernardo nor Karla Homolka nor Terri-Lynne McClintic nor Michael Rafferty deserve to be alive. Instead of being put down like the monster he was, Clifford Olsen was allowed to terrorize the parents of his victims from behind bars for decades — while collecting a pension paid for by you and me. But don’t put death in the hands of a small jury or a single judge. Put it in the hands of the people. After conviction of a murderer “beyond a reasonable doubt”, and after the killer has exhausted all legal options, put their execution to a vote. Put a list of these bastards on the ballot every four years with a “Yes/Oui” or “No/Non” option for each. I guarantee that this will solve voter apathy. Oh, the point was to solve gun crime? Well, I think parts #1 and #2 will prove sufficient. If we solve gun violence, why not work on voter apathy next? That way, our impartial, wonderfully competent Elections watchdogs won’t need to waste millions on “get out the vote” campaigns.
///Possible Service Interruptions on the Weekend///
Good news: I’m upgrading the website’s hosting. It’ll be faster and more stable. Bad news: the site could get messy on the weekend. It might not work properly or it could go down entirely. That might actually be an improvement from my current hosting service.
///The Movie Project///
Both my partner and I have been crazy busy since last Friday. We’ve been up to way too much. The Movie Project will thus continue next week.
///Catherine a.k.a. Catherine the Great///
HollyWood went to Toronto for the first time this week. She now weighs in at twelve pounds and measures over 2 feet in length. Not bad for two months old! Cat also got her first immunizations. This made it nearly impossible to get good photos of her smiling. She didn’t seem interested in my rational explanation that needles are less painful than polio.
- Sir BCM was displeased with one of my articles from last week. He doesn’t think people should go to work sick. 10 out of 10 Doctors agree. Meanwhile, in the real world, I’ll continue taking my drug cocktail until somebody develops a robot that can replace me when I feel ill. Then the robot revolution will come, and we’ll just be energy sources for our machine creations, a la The Matrix.
- Nelson of FU fame enjoyed last week’s BP so much that he slowly backed away while maintaining eye contact and attempting to pocket-dial 911.
///Amendments and Addenda///
- Mea culpa: I was totally wrong on a major point in yesterday’s article. I’ve added a correction to the top of the post. Further insights are provided in the comments section.
///Tweet(s) of the Week///
I’d just like to say that @TimelessFinance leaves better comments on my posts than most of you write as content. End mancrush.
— Nelson Smith (@financialuproar) July 15, 2012
@ajmcafe Tu deviens responsable pour toujours de ce que tu as apprivoisé.
— TimelessFinance (@TimelessFinance) July 15, 2012
A fan of Le Petit Prince (a French book) followed me on Twitter. Le Petit Prince has been one of my favourite books ever since I read it in high school French. I’d call it a children’s book, but the main character dies at the end (although you’re left doubting it with many philosophical questions). Also the book was written by a pilot who had crash landed and survived in the Sahara desert (for real) and who subsequently died in a World War II plane crash.
Money-Smart Keyword Award goes to:
It’s a beautiful phone. But RIM is imploding, so make sure you get a really good deal. I paid $113 (including HST) for the phone on a three year term. If I were buying it today (a year later), I’d expect to pay $0 for the phone.
Money-Stupid Keyword Award goes to:
i change td visa credit card accounts and i haven’t received my new visa
Quit Googling and call TD. Duh.
lol wut? Keyword Award goes to:
i have orthodic sandals where can i replace the souls
That’s a deep metaphysical question. Did your sandals lose their souls? Or are they just world-weary?
Notably missing keyword to SEO-optimize this post by increasing the keyword density
Don’t watch this if you have vertigo issues:
1. A National Post review of the film “Journeys”, starring Neil Young and the town in which I’m living, Omemee. It’s unlikely to be a box office smash, but I hope to catch it – probably late at night on CBC or TVO, three years from now.
Do you think that horrendous police oppression doesn’t happen here?
Let’s ignore the pedestrian example of Ontario cops beating unarmed protesters during the G20 and look at something more local.
Exhibit A: when Peterborough’s “finest”, Officers Dan Maclean, Greg Robinson, and Jamie Hartnett, decided it’d be cool to dump all over Section 8 of the Charter and orchestrate a home invasion. But don’t worry, despite a precipice of evidence (including a video tape of the apartment search) these Dick Traceys appealed their convictions (that link is to the PDF of the appeal summary). It looks like the three amigos only got a slap on the wrist. If you broke into a home, would the justice system let you off with a week of docked pay? Reading those facts, how could one trust any of these officers? I’d love to know if these guys are still “serving and protecting”, a.k.a. swerving and deflecting. I’d bet they are.
Canada’s PoPo the Clowns, and their entitlements, are out of control. I should really start a BP section to keep tabs on our nation’s Keystone Cops. But what could I call it? Again, if I disappear in the upcoming week, you’ll know where to find me: Thought Crime Prison.